Trust & Emotions
Spirit has repeatedly expressed everything happens for a reason, even those experiences that don’t feel so great. To appreciate every emotion and feeling is so important. Sometimes I find it very challenging in the moment to remember this.
A few months ago I learned my full-time position was being eliminated but no end date had been finalized. It had to do with contract renewals and the bottom line. My first thought upon hearing the news was the Universe always supports me, and there must be something better coming my way! I asked Spirit for guidance on a new job and received, “TRUST, TRUST, TRUST. We are helping you.” I wrote down all the qualities I wanted in a new position and envisioned myself already there.
As the weeks passed by and still no agreed upon end date, I started feeling stressed out and anxious about the unknown. Limiting beliefs about self-worth and lack surfaced. The emotional roller coaster ride had begun its climb. I again asked Spirit for guidance and again received, “TRUST, TRUST, TRUST. We are helping you.”
The perception of my life in limbo created an overwhelming need to “do” something. How could I just sit and wait for a job to find me? Isn’t that irresponsible as a single mother? What if my perfect job is out there right now and I miss it? As more feelings of unworthiness arose I convinced myself to take action.
I started job searching and my energy level dropped drastically. Nothing I found came remotely close to what I had envisioned. I began to feel hopeless. Insomnia wasn’t helping the situation and I started downhill. I was completely exhausted on all levels. I begged Spirit for guidance and again I heard, “TRUST, TRUST, TRUST. We are helping you. Be patient.”
When the corporate decision makers finally reached an agreement three weeks of employment remained. Anger, resentment, and feelings of betrayal emerged from the shadows. My emotions took the helm. I began to fray around the edges and at times completely unraveled.
The following week a high profile job opportunity found me, though it wasn’t something I would have sought out on my own. But with only two weeks left to find a new source of income, I convinced myself it would be a seamless transition and save any further stress and anxiety. I agreed to an interview. I would take the job if offered.
Three days before the interview, something happened while leading a group meditation. As we came back from an expanded state of consciousness, I was unable to open my eyes and had a felt sense the guides were assisting me. As I relaxed into this knowing, a tidal wave of feelings, memories and emotions hit me all at once – every instance throughout my life when I felt forced to doing something I didn’t want to do.
A giant spotlight had shone upon those old victimhood beliefs thought long gone. I held them all in a loving embrace and through my tears they were freed. The ride had finally come to a complete stop. But the road had been long and I was tapped out, like an emotional auto-pilot set to neutral. Nothing phased me. I was still in this state of being when I entered the interview, ready to accept an offer.
I silently called my guides in for support. As the interview was ending, an offer was made. While I negotiated (fought for) my worth and value, I felt an "ERRRT!” as if someone had slammed on my brakes. Immediately it felt like a switch had been flipped, auto-pilot disengaged, and I had full control of the helm again. Instantly I knew without a doubt I did not NEED to take this job, and if I did, it would be detrimental to my well-being.
All the exhaustion and stress from the past few months instantly fell away in that moment and a renewed energy took over. I felt EMPOWERED, CONFIDENT and FEARLESS! I declined the offer trusting that something better was coming.
The next day I was approached by a company that resides in my office building. A position had just opened up for someone with my skill set. Every quality I had written down and envisioned for myself was offered!
The perfect job found me, all I needed to do was TRUST the process. THANK YOU Spirit!!!